Uh, I’m in just one of those moods. Have to laugh at myself cause I was just complaining about a book character the other today because he was always, “Whhhhaaa me! My life is sooo hard! (complaint, complaint, etc.)” And now I happen to be in “one of those moods”. Lame.
It’s annoying too because it’s also hard for me to identify why I’m in a shit mood. Of course there is the usual, everyone has bad days and good days, but having bipolar disorder I always question if it’s my mental illness. I question a lot of things because of my mental illness…
Example, when I decided that I was going to paint and try to make a career out of it, the first thing I asked myself: “Omg, am I manic right now?” No, my thinking at that moment wasn’t about what inspired me, what led me to want to paint. No, my first thought was questioning my sanity.
So when I’m in a mood like this I have to ask myself, “Did something occur today that would cause my foul mood? Am I just experiencing a case of the blahs that everyone experiences from time to time? Or am I having a mood swing?” which then leads to into more questions. “Did I not get enough sleep last night? Have I changed anything in my routine that may have cause a full-blown swing? I took my pills yesterday, right? Am I over thinking this? What can I do to get back to my normal content self?” And on and on. Totally exhausting to be perfectly honest!
Regardless, it’s the last question that is most important: “What can I do for myself to make myself feel better?” It ultimately doesn’t really matter what is causing the shit mood, it is how I deal with it and I know that. So I’m going to go use one of my wellness tools and either paint or read to bring my mood back up a bit.
Be Authentic. Be Unique. Be You.
Nikki Page Paintings 